Math Sucks

Woke up at 3:00 am. Cute dogs from yesterday? Decidedly not as cute barking their heads off all night. I thought Italy was full of cats? I lay there for a while meditating. Doing breathing exercises. No dice, so finally I got up to make some more tea and began looking through Lucia's travel brochures, picking out a few things, when mom got up. We decided to eat a few of the cookies we got at the grocery store, then went back to bed. She, curled up with her Nook. Me, with my head under a pillow. 

We didn't get out of bed until nearly 10:00 am. The phone is now working. Apparently, it takes 24 hours to activate. Here's the funny, slash slightly humiliating part... I actually have no idea how to make an international call. Not within Italy, and not to home. Do i need to include the calling codes? What is the calling ode for he US? I feel like a five year old. In my ignorance, I think I use just about all of the minutes trying to call Delta and Alitalia about the luggage, via the ,19 euro connection charge and ,10 euro per minute fees. We get half a call into the matriarch mermaid (grandma) before the phone cuts off. As we top up the phone at an ATM later (yes, wicked cool... And figuring this out makes me feel smart again), mom insists on adding 50 euros, which I think is insane. However, as some of my good friends will attest, I'm the kind of girl that only takes money out of the ATM in $20 increments when we go out. My reasoning: if you have it in hand, you'll spend it.) So -- phone recharged -- we now have to wait for it to take effect. In the meantime? No phone. Again.

I was able to get through to Delta before we called grandma. Uber helpful, really. I'm being sarcastic. Really. Despite my having BOUGHT the ticket from Delta, and the trip ORIGINATING with them, they are unable to give us any information about the status of our bags. You might ask at this point, am I kidding? Friend, the answer is a resounding NO. I beg. I plead. I promise to bear his children (this I am joking about, of course. I only promised him one of mine...) I explain that each time I get through to Alitalia, I can't get someone who speaks English, and when they realize I don't speak Italian, the line goes mysteriously dead. Meaning they hang up. And don't think I'm being pessimistic here... it happens about six times. Six times multiplied by a ,19 euro connection fee plus two minutes each multiplied by ,10 euros per minute. Math sucks.

I do, however, gain some incredibly valuable information on the Delta call. We can go out and buy what clothes and toiletries we need to get by until the bags come. Rrrrrrrrr (insert sound of record scratch here). Excuse me? That would have been helpful information to have had, um... yesterday. I ask him what the daily limit is.

There is no limit.

No way. No way (bears repeating). Once again, limoncello from the hand of lemons we've been dealt. But this is delicious limoncello of the gods. He adds that we shouldn't go out and buy Versace, but we should get what we need. Ok, maybe I will bear him a child. 

I'm just saying. 

Shall we go shopping?